L1 English - Creative writing - Post-Writing

Post Creative Writing Tasks - Adding 6 different R.I.D.S to my creative writing to improve it.

1. The 5 sense: 

What did you feel? I could feel the faces of confusion stare at me as more tears ran down my face.

What did you see? I could see that I arrived at the right place due to my mother's Red Mini in amongst the few cars at the funeral services. 

What did you taste?

What did you hear? Just as I'm about to leave I hear my phone ring

What did you smell? 

2. Replacing words:

1. However, as I believed everything was fine, it all changed instantly once I saw (viewed) the row of which my family was squished up in. 
2. People's (The) whispers grew as I strolled passed my mother without getting a single look from her.
3. The ringing stops so I gather my coat and lock my apartment door. 

3. Inserting words:

1. I could see that I arrived at the right place due to my mother's Red Mini in amongst the few cars at the funeral services. (I eventually changed the sentence around from what it was original "I knew I was at the right place when...")
2. I hesitate to pick it up, So I found myself just standing there staring as it rings. (Again with this one I merged 2 sentences forming this one. "I hesitate to pick it up. I found myself just standing there staring as it rings.)
3. People's whispers grew deeper as I strolled passed my mother without getting a single look from her.

4. Deleting words:

1.  After laying for 2 hours, I decided it's time to get ready and get this over with since my brother would have wanted me to.
2. However, I believed everything was fine, that all changed instantly once I spotted the row of which my family was squished up in. 
3. Putting all the bad memories with my family past me, I sit down at the back of the hall making as little noise as I could. making sure I didn't draw any attention to myself or allow them to know I had arrived. 

5. Onomatopoeia and alliteration:

1. She slowly made her way up the stairs followed by the clicking of her heels.

6. Similes and metaphors

1. Walking past the rows of people, I watch their faces light up with confusion one at a time like as if someones set dominos off in their expressions.